Desire…Oh The Cravings of Pleasure

So, I looked up the definition of desire in the dictionary and, let me tell ya, I feel inspired to write! Desire is quite interesting I think.

The dictionary defines ‘desire’ as longing or hoping for; strong intention or aim; to express a wish of; to invite; or to feel the loss of.

Did you know that desire and fear are transmitted on the same brain circuit? They are psychological opposites, yet riding the same wave? I wonder if it’s because the result of completing both create dopamine (the brain’s pleasure chemical). This all makes so much sense! My brain likes pleasure, rewards, excitement and new! Though, because I rewarded myself by self medicating for so many years since I was quite young, too much of this and I can easily lose myself in extreme behaviors and addiction.

All through my 12 years of being a user-user of people, places, things and alcohol/pot-my brain became quite used to that lovely dopamine, even though my life was slowly becoming unmanageable. Then, one day, God stepped in my will’s way and said, “Look at yourself! I’ve got plans for you and this, my dear, is not it.” Soon enough, just having daily conversations with Him and seeing miracles happen became a new, healthier pleasure with positive rewards.

The definition of unmanageable? Not submitting to discipline; difficult to keep within limits; awkward. Yep! That was me, to the extreme for a long while. I still have my moments, though I’m stronger, wiser, filled with more love and my eyes are opened. I took the steps to change, going backwards is a choice…self sabotage. Nope, I have no desire for that!