A New Way of Living

When I first got sober, many people told me it would be different but to just keep coming back. One of the many reasons I keep coming back to meetings is because the gifts, promises that have come into fruition, and the feel good feelings that I receive in my everyday life. I know, for me, when I don't give it away, I'm usually left feeling discontented, sad, frustrated and all alone.

A little over 7 years ago, I was told that I had to give it away to keep it. It took a long time to understand what this meant. At first, I didn't want to give anything away! Heck I didn't even feel like I had anything to give! Then my sponsor pointed out to me that by just picking up the phone and calling someone else to see how their day is going, just by simply smiling at someone or by lending my ear, or suiting up and showing up for a meeting, that I was being of service by giving up my time and showing a bit of kindness.

Today, this makes my day! Seeing another person smile, giving unexpected gifts, the kind words I hear, the wisdom I learn from and utilize in return of being teachable, the fact that people trust me enough to want to lean on me for a little bit still blows my mind! People have given so much of their time and kindness to help me in my life, and for that I am incredibly grateful! So, I keep on keepin on.

Where I once felt like I had nothing to offer, feeling the brokenness inside, I was shown a new way of living and encouraged by others, especially in recovery, to 'give it away'. This is a big part of my recovery, my life, and it works! Even if I get nothing in return, I feel better about the woman I am today. Now that is a far cry in itself from where I once was, puts a smile on my face.