Saturday, October 26, 2013

What Ifs Close-Vulnerability Opens

When would you say a woman is most open and vulnerable? I'd say when she's in labor!

Recovery can be scary sometimes when I get caught in the 'What Ifs'...and that's when I know my vulnerability barometer is winding down. Not a good place to be, though I can look inside and ask myself honestly, "Am I being open?".

What if I can't stay sober tomorrow?
What if this person says that one thing?
What if I don't succeed?
What if this isn't true?
What if, what if, what if...blehk!

When my mind falls here, I try hard to stay vulnerable and open. I've heard it said that vulnerability is the cornerstone to confidence and that you can't get through to courage without walking through vulnerability. This reminds me that most people are conditioned since childhood that vulnerability is a weakness. It is not. It is strength!

Inside of being open and vulnerable, I am embracing a greater intimacy with myself, my life and connecting closer to others. It always looks like bravery. So, when I lose tolerance for vulnerability, for openness, I am closed and the joy goes away.

If I want more joy, vulnerability is always the answer! The more pressure I feel, the more joy I can have through the tools of being open with my own vulnerability.

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