Selfishness Inside Recovery

I can most certainly become selfish in any given moment, if I choose that direction. Progressively, the amount of selfishness I engage in has lessened. Many people who are close to me are grateful for this and have told me over the years, "You've changed." That's a far cry from the comments I used to hear such as, "I cannot believe how selfish you are! What is wrong with you?"...yuck.

Now, honestly from time to time I get checked and put into place about my selfishness. For this, I am grateful for the growth to be more receptive, listen and learn. It's not always pleasant to hear that I am being selfish, though sometimes people on the outside are having an experience of me that I just-for some reason-cannot see for myself.

My twelve step recovery program has truly taught me how to be more humble and self-sacrificing, caring about the cares, needs or hurts of others. I have gone to extremes inside of this area as well (you can view stories on that at www.cantkeepacodependentgirldown.blogspot.com), however balance for me is key.

Here are some quotes from the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that have helped keep me in check and grow up and out of the sticky, unmanageable muck of selfishness over the years:

1. Best of all, I met a kind doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally. [Big Book page 7, line 13].
2. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. [Big Book page 21, line 28].
3. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. [Big Book page 61, line 9].
4. Selfishness- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. [Big Book page 62, line 7]
5. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of the selfishness. We must, or it kills us! [Big Book page 62, line 19].
6. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? - [Big Book page 67, line 17].
7. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? [Big Book page 69, line 14].
8. We subjected each relation to this test, was it selfish or not? [Big Book page 69, line 21].
9. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed. [Big Book page 69, line 24].
10. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil [Big Book page 82, line 28].
11. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows [Big Book page 84, line 6].
12. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. [Big Book page 84, line 25].
13. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? [Big Book page 86, line 7].
14. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. [Big Book page 87, line 18].
15. We wives found that, like everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above selfishness or dishonesty. [Big Book page 116, line 23].

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