The Heart of this blog, the heart of what I do in my life,
beats with love and is the heart of a servant. God shook the bajeezes out of me
until FINALLY I surrendered, but dangit, it took awhile!
After having experienced a spiritual awakening as a result
of working a program of recovery (though, years into it…sometimes quickly…sometimes
sloooowly), the capacity to love and empathize even more sank into my heart. I
had a different understanding now, that we are all interconnected, God has the
reigns and that separation is only created in my mind.
Before this time, I only ever had fleeting thoughts of being
connected to others…still thinking of myself usually first. Sure I was loving,
sure I was kind, sure I’d help you-that’s where my value of worth all came
from. The mentality that if something happened grandly or badly, it was at my
feet to deal with and usually all about me. My dis-ease was still about it
being all about me. The chaos around me was not just a fluke for so many years,
it was due to me fueling it with others that I was connected with…about trying
to steal the reigns and take control.
Today, I understand that when I can speak, think and act in
gratitude, I am connected. When I don’t, I am separated and disconnected from
The truth.
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