Monday, July 29, 2013

How I Get Separated and Disconnected



The Heart of this blog, the heart of what I do in my life, beats with love and is the heart of a servant. God shook the bajeezes out of me until FINALLY I surrendered, but dangit, it took awhile!

After having experienced a spiritual awakening as a result of working a program of recovery (though, years into it…sometimes quickly…sometimes sloooowly), the capacity to love and empathize even more sank into my heart. I had a different understanding now, that we are all interconnected, God has the reigns and that separation is only created in my mind.

Before this time, I only ever had fleeting thoughts of being connected to others…still thinking of myself usually first. Sure I was loving, sure I was kind, sure I’d help you-that’s where my value of worth all came from. The mentality that if something happened grandly or badly, it was at my feet to deal with and usually all about me. My dis-ease was still about it being all about me. The chaos around me was not just a fluke for so many years, it was due to me fueling it with others that I was connected with…about trying to steal the reigns and take control.

Today, I understand that when I can speak, think and act in gratitude, I am connected. When I don’t, I am separated and disconnected from The truth.

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