When I started to become more self-aware, I could no longer participate in the blame game. As a sober adult, I was now present to being responsible for my own actions, reactions and life. Honestly, this ticked me off a bit because I could no longer blame another person, circumstance or even alcohol. There was only me to deal with, and I surely did not want to point a finger at myself! I was not used to taking ownership and it proved quite difficult. Who am I kidding? It still does!
There is empowerment in ownership though, I've grown to find out. I look for the reason why and I stand in honesty with myself.
Why did I do that?
Why do I blame others or circumstances?
Why do I say I want this, but I don't follow through?
Why is it so difficult to only focus on my part in this experience?
Sometimes there is healing needed, most definitely! I find that in time. So, I give myself time to do something fun-or fall flat on my face into my pillow! Yep, sometimes when life gets too hard, I fall fast asleep! However, once I find the answer within, I'm hopefully able to accept it, learn from it and move forward from it to create a solution. I grow and acquire a new sense of confidence in knowing myself even more! No blame, just honesty and acceptance.
How about for you? Do you know why you do what you do? Have you also played the blame game?
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Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE
Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
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I am guilty of this, especially during my using days (as is with most I think) but even after being sober for a while, I still find myself wanting to pin the blame.
ReplyDeleteAfter putting forth the work in the program and practicing the principles in all of my affairs, participating in the blame game becomes much easier to avoid. For me anyway.
But when our lives are thrown off balance (which they will on occasion no matter how healthy we are spiritually and within the program), like when we get angry, sad, jealous, hateful, vengeful, etc... I will repeat the Serenity Prayer over and over and over again (kind of a prayer/meditation mix) until I realize if it's something I can change or not. If I can, great, get 'r done. If not, accept it and move on.
If acceptance cannot be attained, this could lead to resentments and as we know, resentments are dangerous for anyone really but especially for those of us in recovery.
Answers for me! Prayer and meditation, talking with friends and family, sit and chat with a sponsor, do some inventory work to help determine if it is in fact something I did or something I can change and if I was the cause of it, make amends quickly.
Now that I live without playing the blame game, at least not nearly as often as I once did, my life is peaceful even on my rough days where if I wanted to, I could start blaming again. I have found some serenity and I think it is, in large part because I have found out what the blame will get me and do what I can to avoid it, hold myself accountable when wrong and letting go what is out of my control.
Peace out girl scout!
Absolutely!!!! ;) Your response-in my opinion-ROCKS!
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