Release The Shame: Be Who You're Meant To Be

Many of us have heard that coined phrase that secrets keep us sick...and they do, I believe, because the internal secrets feed the internal shame. Relief comes from accepting that it is there, letting it out and letting it go.

 

Shame: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Secret: something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.

 

I used to be a master at hiding my inner self- and I still can if I resort to fear. Remembering back to being a young girl in elementary school...I would listen to top hits of the 80's on my walkman and be in my own world. My peers called me 'La-La Land' even! I pretended that I didn't care about that nickname, though my sensitive insides truly did. I didn't know how to communicate and was incredibly introverted around my peers (not with older people though, I could talk their ear off!). Internally all I wanted was to feel free and accepted.

 

In my teens I abused booze for a 'social lubricant' and still didn't feel accepted! Oh, pour me, pour me another! I was like a cake...full of goodness and potential, but weighted down by some foul shame frosting. Let me tell ya, trying to be the perfect daughter who puts up a poser front, "I am studying at my friends."...actually with peers, partying at the river..."I never drink."...every party that had alcohol, I found..."I get excellent grades."...I was great at manipulating the teachers to give me extra credit assignments when I failed tests! My double life wrapped me up and tied me to shame.

 

When I hold in a secret of something I've done that my soul doesn't agree with, I feel it. This particular feeling robs me of who I'm meant to be, of who I am authentically in God's original creation, minus the foul frosting! And, you want to know what's funny? My frosting of shame stinks right? Well, okay, so I'm walking around like everything is all right...yet my family and friends are getting pretty ticked and even worried in regards to how much I smell. Then, instead of cleaning up the shame, I push them away and undermine their ability for compassion! Classic.

 

Working the steps of recovery flung me into the middle of so many Aha! moments. Inside one of these moments I realized that people who cared about me, my closest who wanted only the very best for and from me, simply wanted me to have joy and freedom...not for me to be physically tied down to intangible things such as destructive thoughts, lies and shame. All I needed was willingness to set the shame free, the courage to voice it and then no longer was it-or I-under lock and key!

 

I know now, today, that I will never have the life I desire, nor will I be the person I'm meant to be, if I pretend to be anything I am not. How about for you? Are you being who you're meant to be?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!