If I choose to:
Get drunk
Have a toke
Lie
Cheat
Steal
Manipulate
Control
Force
Plot
Scream
Hurt Others
Selfishly Struggle Through Life
Would I be living a significant life? Would I be seen as courageous, or rather exceptionally fearful and foolish? Would I be happy with the person I have become? My experience has been no.
One of my first sober mentors suggested to me, “Amber, fake it until you make it!”. I faked it repeatedly because I believed that faking it could help me make it. After all, she hadn’t steered me wrong and I wanted what she seemed to have-happiness, fearlessness, business sense, strong wit and years of sobriety!
I Faked the faith in a higher power-miraculously, I now truly have faith in a higher power I personally call an all-loving God.
I Faked that I completed the 9th Step for five years-and I had half the pain lifted until I completed it.
I Faked that I actually enjoyed the company of my peers and women-I honestly do now.
I Faked that I knew what I was talking about in regards to alcoholism-and now, years later, I do.
I Faked that I could start my own companies and know what to do-I did and was successful.
I Faked that I, too, could live courageously without drinking-and now, I am!
The initial ‘faking it’ forces me into the ring. Courage keeps me fighting, with hope.
If and when I can’t seem to believe in myself, or to lift my own spirits, I fake a simple smile…and within moments, I’m feeling the percolation of joy. Try on a fake smile for a even 30 seconds. It’s impossible to not feel different and better after that...or at the very least, a bit more goofy! Did you try? I might also say a positive affirmation to myself that I want to come into fruition. For me, faking it works from time to time!
What does believing in yourself look like? Are you willing to fake it until you make it? Also, if you believed in yourself right now, what would you be doing?
Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk
Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE
Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI
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Thanks and have a fabulous day!
I like so many of your little articles but this one I found I wanted to completely disagree.
ReplyDeleteIt is my opinion that this little saying of fake it ‘til you make it, like so many of the other cute and clever saying is total bunk. But they often rhyme or sound clever. With these sayings, often, someone took a salient point and tried to condense it down to a memorable clever quip but in doing so lost the deeper meaning of what had originally been said.
“Fake it ‘til you make it.” What are we telling each other let alone the new comer? Pretend? Lie to yourself and others? Continue to separate yourself? About the only thing you accomplish by faking it is learning to fake it better; that and potentially prolonging your misery.
When you take away all the fluff, faking it is lying. The problem with lying is that while we may often be able to get others to believe our lie, the very nature of a lie is something we know is not true and we cannot convince ourselves to believe it as we know it is untrue. We walk around faking it living in an unreal world. The world is full of people like this flashing fake smiles that are as painful to try and manage as they are to receive or sitting in meetings obviously in pain and conflict yet telling people how wonderful things are and how happy they are to have their life changing. “Yes, I’m about to kill myself but someone told me to fake it ‘til I make it so I am going to try and convince my thoughts that they are wrong.”
Recovery has taught me to be true to myself; hard to do when I am faking things. I faked most things before getting into recovery; why should I continue that behavior? Isn’t that actually counterproductive to inducing a spiritual experience?
There is a saying, “You cannot think your way into right living but you can live your way into right thinking.” There is another saying, “Act as if…” Faking it is trying to think or convince myself into believing something which will change my world. Acting as if believes it is possible even if it isn’t happening now and that by action, living; it will produce the intended result and change my world.
While I am sure that when people say fake it ‘til you make it, act as if is what they are trying to impart but the meaning is changed and the difference is far more than just semantics.
Smart! Yes, 'Acting As If'! They taught us that in acting school. I guess, yeah, looking back I had belief and hope of new ways of living so...I agree. Thanks Christopher.
ReplyDelete