One of My Fabulous Mentors

Tony Robbins is one of my favorite, fabulous mentors! From being homeless to making the choice to live the best life possible...he is a magnificent example of humility and service. Light contagiously beams off this man as he makes each next, right step.

When I'm down for a bit, then I pray for a solution and usually find the answers within. Though sometimes when I'm stuck and not hearing, I have to get out of myself and seek the advice and guidance from someone older and wiser. God works through others, too, I believe. This is where gratitude for my fabulous mentors kicks in! Reaching out keeps me humble, yet motivated. Win-win!

Anthony "Tony" Robbins is an American life coach, self-help author and motivational speaker who has helped millions of people all over the world. Robbins has been honored by Accenture as one of the "Top 50 Business Intellectuals in the World"; by Harvard Business Press as one of the "Top 200 Business Gurus"; by American Express as one of the "Top Six Business Leaders in the World" to coach its entrepreneurial clients; by Forbes as a "Top 100 Celebrity"; by Justice Byron White as one of the world's "Outstanding Young People of the World". He is also the author of two uplifters I personally love: Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within, in addition to many others!

"Every human being has 6 needs in common-
1. Certainty
2. Variety
3. Sense of Significance
4. To Feel Connected and Loved
5. Must Grow
6. Must Contribute Outside of Yourself

What need is driving that person the most?" -Tony Robbins

I know, for me, that the need which is driving me the most is that I must contribute outside of myself. The runner up-today, anyhow-is that I must grow.

What need is driving you the most in your life right now? Is it working for you?

www.cantkeepasobergirldown.com

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

The Blame Game

There is nobody more intelligent about who you are than you. If you meditate and stay calm, looking deep within...you will find the answers you are searching for.

When I started to become more self-aware, I could no longer participate in the blame game. As a sober adult, I was now present to being responsible for my own actions, reactions and life. Honestly, this ticked me off a bit because I could no longer blame another person, circumstance or even alcohol. There was only me to deal with, and I surely did not want to point a finger at myself! I was not used to taking ownership and it proved quite difficult. Who am I kidding? It still does!

There is empowerment in ownership though, I've grown to find out. I look for the reason why and I stand in honesty with myself.

Why did I do that?
Why do I blame others or circumstances?
Why do I say I want this, but I don't follow through?
Why is it so difficult to only focus on my part in this experience?

Sometimes there is healing needed, most definitely! I find that in time. So, I give myself time to do something fun-or fall flat on my face into my pillow! Yep, sometimes when life gets too hard, I fall fast asleep! However, once I find the answer within, I'm hopefully able to accept it, learn from it and move forward from it to create a solution. I grow and acquire a new sense of confidence in knowing myself even more! No blame, just honesty and acceptance.

How about for you? Do you know why you do what you do? Have you also played the blame game?

www.cantkeepasobergirldown.com

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Friday Night Sparkle

Let your life sparkle by revealing all you've got to give!

Just wanted to wish you all a fabulous weekend! I'm still working on the pre-production for the Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down videos that will be viewable soon along with the new website, and I am oh so excited to share!

Be the shine you wish to see around you! xoxo

Let's Begin, Again.

Life unveils second chances. It says, "Let's begin, again." That is what recovery is all about- the chance to begin, again.

Going back to when I was a young, bright-eyed, curious little girl who drove my mother crazy with my constant curiosity, I can remember the joy I had. The simplicity of play, the feeling of accomplishment as I swam the whole length of the pool under the clear cool water, the importance of completing a Christmas coloring book so I could gift each colorful page. The energy and enthusiasm I had for simply living.

Being fully self-expressed in creativity, and in life, as an adult is absolutely vital for living! It is exactly what helped me to begin, again. To re-create my life. To wash away the chaos and self destructive behavior and learn from what kept me isolated in selfishness, distanced from others and finally accepting what was and re-creating what could be. This, in my opinion, is recovery.

What second chances has life unveiled for you? Are you also in acceptance and re-creating?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Dreams Do Come True!

I've realized over the years that if I want my dreams to come true I have to first believe that they can! Then, I had to wake up and live consciously and whole-heartedly in order to create the pathway to them. On the old path I traveled, I consistently got lost and off track in unconscious, ego-driven, spiritually deadened living. 

 

A recovered life is not a boring life. I have had dreams fall down and all around like glimmering Minnesota snowflakes! I share this in hopes that you all reading may also believe that you can create a wonderful life for yourself in recovery!

 

Some of the dreams that have come true for me once I committed to putting my recovery first, in all that I do:

 

-Clarity and soundness of mind

-Beautiful, honest relationships with people

-Trust from the ones closest to me

-Faith in God and ability to see miracles happen all around

-Worked as a literary agent in Hollywood and, thanks to Caren Bohrman, assisted in the production of brilliantly written screenplays for television and film

-Been mentored by actors, comedians, politicians, pastors, CEOs, writers, agents, people with great lengths of sobriety-you name it!

-Creation and successes in several companies

-Was featured in Signature L.A. Magazines' article for mentorship & entrepreneurship for L.A.'s Inner Beauty: Top 40 Under 40 in November 2009

-Have assisted in helping others get their lives back on track

-Went through a divorce, amicably (We signed the divorce paperwork and went to dinner right after! Love and kindness in all choices is a dream come true-for me.)

-Was part of an amazing production of Dracula! and publically featured for playing 3 roles in the newspaper article about the show (When I was drinking, I hardly ever even auditioned, let alone landed a part!)

-Have seen wondrous parts of the world
-Kayaked next to dolphins in the Atlantic Ocean
-Spoken with a jovial spirit in front of hundreds of people
-Realized that I enjoy my own company, found an honest love for myself, others and life and awakened to the understanding that I am never alone

-Written a book and created 3 inspirational blogs to inspire others to live their best lives (The wonderful gifts inside of this dream coming true have been beyond my own understanding. What a blessing it is to just simply give.)

 

Recovery is a gift. It was also the dream I never could have created on my own. Dreams do come true, even when we least expect them to!

 

How about for you? Do you believe that dreams do come true? What dreams have come true for you in your own life?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

 

Catching My Breath to Say Thank You

Today was a majestic, fun-filled snowy day!

I am in so much gratitude lately. Life has been filled with goodness and so many dreams coming true! Sometimes I start to get overwhelmed, then I remind myself to slow down, catch my breath and say, "Thank you."

A very wise patient I spoke with yesterday said, "If you have the three f's, you've got more than enough to be thankful for: Faith, Family and Friends." At first I was surprised he shared this, just out of nowhere. Then I realized the more he spoke that his heart was filled with gratitude from surviving his operation. Beautiful!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! These two words, for me, have assisted my inside to match my outside. Every day alive is another opportunity to be grateful, love and thrive!

Find Your Own Courage While Faking It

Courage. Fear. Either way, when it comes to empowering myself on a daily basis to do great work and live boldly, one always wins. I do believe they sit next to one another at any given moment and it’s up to me to let courage win, or allow fear to sink me once again.

If I choose to:

Get drunk

Have a toke

Lie

Cheat

Steal

Manipulate

Control

Force

Plot

Scream

Hurt Others

Selfishly Struggle Through Life

Would I be living a significant life? Would I be seen as courageous, or rather exceptionally fearful and foolish? Would I be happy with the person I have become? My experience has been no.

One of my first sober mentors suggested to me, “Amber, fake it until you make it!”. I faked it repeatedly because I believed that faking it could help me make it. After all, she hadn’t steered me wrong and I wanted what she seemed to have-happiness, fearlessness, business sense, strong wit and years of sobriety!

I Faked the faith in a higher power-miraculously, I now truly have faith in a higher power I personally call an all-loving God.
I Faked that I completed the 9^th Step for five years-and I had half the pain lifted until I completed it.
I Faked that I actually enjoyed the company of my peers and women-I honestly do now.

I Faked that I knew what I was talking about in regards to alcoholism-and now, years later, I do.

I Faked that I could start my own companies and know what to do-I did and was successful.

I Faked that I, too, could live courageously without drinking-and now, I am!

The initial ‘faking it’ forces me into the ring. Courage keeps me fighting, with hope.

If and when I can’t seem to believe in myself, or to lift my own spirits, I fake a simple smile…and within moments, I’m feeling the percolation of joy. Try on a fake smile for a even 30 seconds. It’s impossible to not feel different and better after that...or at the very least, a bit more goofy! Did you try? I might also say a positive affirmation to myself that I want to come into fruition. For me, faking it works from time to time!

What does believing in yourself look like? Are you willing to fake it until you make it? Also, if you believed in yourself right now, what would you be doing?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

If I Could Travel Back In Time-I'd Kick My Own Ass!

If I could travel back in time like Marty McFly from Back to the Future, I seriously think I'd give myself many swift kicks in the ass. Good thing I can't, though it's a bit humorous to think about it!

Many times I've thought to myself what was I thinking? Here is where my mind goes from time to time with only some of the stupid things I've done while drinking:

You sipped the backwash out of beer cans that had been sitting for hours as a kid? Freakin gross!
You drank brandy with water? Really?
You tried to convince your mother you weren't totally wasted when you were and told her to call the cops to prove it? Come on!
You told 30 something year old men you were in your 20s when you were in your mid-teens just so they would pay attention to you and buy you drinks? Wow.
You got mad at a party because nobody was paying attention to you, so you actually pretended to fall and bang your head on the concrete? WTF?!
You went out into the ocean and bodyboarding during major storms near the pier where sharks swarm while absolutely intoxicated? Smart.
You went to bars in Manhattan, alone, and told men that you were going to be on the next episode of As The World Turns and to tune in to see you? Liar!
You invited men to your apartment-who you didn't even know-to party without female companions being there? Safe call. Not!
You got drunk on the night of 9/11 instead of being of service to your community? Sick and selfish.
You ding-dong-ditched random houses late at night to get a rise out of people? Considerate.
You slept in your car overnight in parking lots of Hollywood without the doors locked and passed out? Lucky to be alive girlie.
You accused your best friend of being jealous of you because you could drink and she couldn't because she was pregnant, all as a reaction of her telling you she was concerned about you and that she was worried you might be an alcoholic? Denial much?
You drove your friends around drunk, all while telling them you were their sober ride and sneaking booze? Nice friend you were.

Oh yeah, I would definitely kick my own ass into shape...if I could go back in time. But I can't. So, I do my best to live rightly today. Now, have I made self-seeking, selfish mistakes in my sobriety? Oh most definitely! As far as I know, I can't yet walk on water! The difference is, however, I'm wide awake and fully present, taking corrective action and learning from my mistakes. I give praise and thanks to God and others who have taught me how to live rightly. I'm not sure I could live rightly without the input and direction given.

I am grateful to have a support system (people who keep me accountable and backhand me with their own experiences), self-discipline and enough wisdom today to where I don't make the same mistakes over and over-having my own sanity and relationships fall apart at the seems like they did in my past. I'm tougher on myself and, also, so are the people around me. Since I've gotten sober I really have no excuse for bad behaviors and for my actions not matching up with my words, thank God...because the lifestyle I was living was incredibly chaotic. The proof is in the residual thoughts of me wanting to go back and kick my own ass!

Looking back on your own life, would you kick your own ass? I'd love to hear your stories!

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Today's Gift: Formula for Happiness

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

Happiness consists of a solid faith, good health, and a bad memory.
--Clare Boothe Luce
Resentments are guaranteed to hinder our growth. We can never know full happiness when resentment clouds our vision. Why is it so hard for us to "forget" the small injuries of life? We have never been promised freedom from pain. Many of the lessons we are destined to learn will scuff our egos. But we will know happiness, completely, if we free our minds of resentments.

The formula for happiness is simple. We don't need material wealth, a perfect job, or an exceptional relationship. In fact, it's possible to know happiness with no job, very little money, and no significant other. Happiness is a by-product of a healthy attitude. And a healthy attitude is one that takes the normal turmoil of life and mixes it with a belief in God's presence. The result is an acceptance of God's will and a certainty that, in spite of appearances, all is well.

I am in charge of my attitude today. Happiness is a choice I can make regardless of what the people around me are doing.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To ComeCan't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Release The Shame: Be Who You're Meant To Be

Many of us have heard that coined phrase that secrets keep us sick...and they do, I believe, because the internal secrets feed the internal shame. Relief comes from accepting that it is there, letting it out and letting it go.

 

Shame: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Secret: something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others.

 

I used to be a master at hiding my inner self- and I still can if I resort to fear. Remembering back to being a young girl in elementary school...I would listen to top hits of the 80's on my walkman and be in my own world. My peers called me 'La-La Land' even! I pretended that I didn't care about that nickname, though my sensitive insides truly did. I didn't know how to communicate and was incredibly introverted around my peers (not with older people though, I could talk their ear off!). Internally all I wanted was to feel free and accepted.

 

In my teens I abused booze for a 'social lubricant' and still didn't feel accepted! Oh, pour me, pour me another! I was like a cake...full of goodness and potential, but weighted down by some foul shame frosting. Let me tell ya, trying to be the perfect daughter who puts up a poser front, "I am studying at my friends."...actually with peers, partying at the river..."I never drink."...every party that had alcohol, I found..."I get excellent grades."...I was great at manipulating the teachers to give me extra credit assignments when I failed tests! My double life wrapped me up and tied me to shame.

 

When I hold in a secret of something I've done that my soul doesn't agree with, I feel it. This particular feeling robs me of who I'm meant to be, of who I am authentically in God's original creation, minus the foul frosting! And, you want to know what's funny? My frosting of shame stinks right? Well, okay, so I'm walking around like everything is all right...yet my family and friends are getting pretty ticked and even worried in regards to how much I smell. Then, instead of cleaning up the shame, I push them away and undermine their ability for compassion! Classic.

 

Working the steps of recovery flung me into the middle of so many Aha! moments. Inside one of these moments I realized that people who cared about me, my closest who wanted only the very best for and from me, simply wanted me to have joy and freedom...not for me to be physically tied down to intangible things such as destructive thoughts, lies and shame. All I needed was willingness to set the shame free, the courage to voice it and then no longer was it-or I-under lock and key!

 

I know now, today, that I will never have the life I desire, nor will I be the person I'm meant to be, if I pretend to be anything I am not. How about for you? Are you being who you're meant to be?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Is All Well With Your Soul?

Is all well with your soul? If so, how did you get to that place? If not, why not?

This is a wonderful reflective piece I thought I would share. It's such an important question! Tuning in and cleaning up is vital for a positive perspective, kind thoughts about self and others, moving forward in life and having a hopeful, forgiving, empathetically loving heart.

There have been many moments where I struggle...especially as of lately...though I know why and I've done my best to do the work. Adapting to so much change can be quite daunting. Creativity, such as this, helps me in the moments of struggle and uncertainty. Pulling on the bottle hasn't been my solution for years and I am ever so grateful for that!

When I lie down to sleep, when I awaken in the morning, and as I go through the moments and events of the day, it is important for me to know that all is well with my soul otherwise I'm sure to be an unbalanced mess! Being fully self-expressed in an artistic way assists in keeping all well with my soul. For me, God is the ultimate creator and, like I've stated before, I feel He works through creativity. When I was stuck in self, drinking and partying, my creativity was near non-existent!

Inside the bull's-eye of recovery, I visualize words that pierce the heart. Is All Well With Your Soul? are highlighted boldly for me.

How about for you? I'd be delighted to know what you do to keep all well with your soul!

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Today I Meet My Publicist!

Today is going to be a great day!

When I was in my early 20s, I dreamt of having a publicist who believed in my work. I wanted to be a famous actress back then. Never would I have thought that, over a decade later, I would be meeting with one for an interview regarding my work and aspirations as a writer/inspirationalist! This year has been filled with all kinds of surprises!

This meeting would not have been made possible without your support. Thank you from the depths of my heart. I am in total, complete gratitude and very much looking forward to this experience!

I will keep you all posted and, more than anything, I hope that through sharing my experience it may inspire you to follow your own creative path toward your joy and dreams! Dream a little dream, dream a big dream...just please, don't give up on creating your dreams. You are worth it!

~Amber Leone Murphy

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!

Educating Youth About Drugs: To Save A Life

There are designer drugs where the creators are not chemists, rather radical business people targeting teenagers to buy their products. They are available for legal purchase in America, yet banned in many other countries. It may say 'Not for human consumption' and 'Creates psychosis if ingested' on the packaging, however children and teens who are uneducated do not mind because they are lacking maturity, care and wisdom.

Speaking from my own experience-as always-knowledge is imperative and so is forthright discussion with children at a young age about drugs!

I will never forget the reason I never tried hard drugs. Ever. I was six or seven years old when I saw a loved one coming off cocaine and it scared me into a pure panic. I was quickly informed by that person as to why I should never do drugs and, if I did, what could happen. That introductory lesson has since been imprinted in my memory.

Had this person not shared their experience with me, I may have tried powders or pills. The curiosity didn't even exist after the imprinted exposure and lesson! Never again did I see them battle with this drug. Therefore, I believe that educating our youth by being candid and graphic may save their lives...or at the very least, set up a tall mind-hurdle which forces them to think.

Just an idea, though we may first have to hold either the physical experience of use or educate ourselves to press the information forward. Then we have to be bold and courageous enough to have the conversation and be open for the probable raw questions. Schooling our youth is not in the same category as scolding them. They will thank us for the care and guidance later on. I know I did!

Did anyone you loved, admired and respected thoroughly educate you on drugs and alcohol when you were a child?

Video Blogs ~ More Yet To Come
Can't Keep A Sober Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1t9m2R8cJk

Testimonial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbU4Nxk2GIE

Can't Keep A Codependent Girl Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xrR55OpssI

Always enjoy hearing your thoughts and stories. Just click on the ButterFlySober link below to view my profile and/or send a personal email.

Thanks and have a fabulous day!