Wait. First of all, who am I to be writing about myths of sobriety? Well, I am a multi-faceted ex-drunk who has had eight consistent years of sobriety. That’s it. All of my opinions on recovery are based on my own personal experiences. Recovery is my everyday is new and all things are possible kind of life. Quite literally, it rocks!
With that being said, I’d love to share some myths that I hear quite often from people in and out of recovery that drive me a bit up the wall of, "Oh, that's so false!"
First –“Relapse is inevitable.”
No, it is a choice to drink or use. Although addiction can be very extremely powerful, we still always have a choice.
Second- “People who are in recovery are poor.”
This is absolutely ridiculous. First of all, if I am speaking economically, some of the richest people I have ever met have been in recovery. Speaking spiritually and morally, I would say the same-- wealthy.
Third- “You have to stay relationship/sex-free for one year to stay sober.”
I swear! Okay, in all the people I have met over the past eight plus years, I have yet to meet one person who has succeeded in this. It’s a great barometer for focusing on yourself inside of living a new found life, though I did not personally have experience with this until years into my recovery. Heck, I got married three months into sobriety!
Fourth- “Once you quit and have God and tools, you’re cured.”
Umm…no. There is no cure, that is just delusional, wishful thinking. Some people prefer to say they are ‘recovered’, however, recovered to me means lack of obsessive thoughts about the addiction.
I’ve seen it time and time again where people say, “I’m good now. I have the tools. I can drink normal.” Though, loosely like a love affair where everything goes to chaos, you’re constantly always trying to get back to that high. When all was fun and well. When alcoholics/addicts pass that point with a drug or drink where they have conceited to their innermost self that they can no longer use or they may die, there is no going back to that beginning stage.
Recovery is the best decision to stick to or else our relationships with others and our health, career and self-esteem quickly becomes incredibly damaged. Some even die shortly after deciding to think they can drink and use again.
Fifth- “I’m different than other people who are addicts.”
The moment this thinking sets in, that person will begin to separate themselves from a true program of recovery. From what I have seen, their life goes into a downward spiral. I always hear encouragement of, "Focus on the similarities, not the differences."
Sixth- “I do better on my own.”
Really? Because I didn't. I needed someone who understood what I was feeling, who gave me direction and things to do to remain sober. People who accepted me and revealed empathy for where I was at.
A big part of my dis-ease is feeling like the outcast and that nobody understands me. I rarely was vulnerable to ask for what I needed which was to be seen, heard and understood. Human companionship is normal. Unity in recovery is vital.
Seventh- “I’m working a program of recovery. All I have to do is not drink or use.”
That is such crap. Drinking was never my problem. My selfishness, my self-seeking, my self-righteousness and little care, therefore, of other people and of my creator were my problems. Drinking was but a symptom of much greater issues of how my addict mind works. I’d be cheating my own recovery, life, if I believed this myth. This is where the term ‘dry drunk’ comes from. Taking the bottle away is just not enough. Although it is a good start-- if you're ready.
Eighth- “Alcoholics and addicts never grow up.”
Not true. Kids are love and power-seekers and will do anything to get attention and their needs met. Some of us started drinking and using as kids and now we have to finally knock at our own door and take a honest, long, hard look at ourselves. The twelve steps help lead us and are vibrantly rewarding.
I personally felt like I was playing catch-up for years because, for years, I didn't deal with my issues. Instead, I drank or smoked them temporarily away.
Ninth- “If it’s a prescription, it must be safe. I cannot get addicted to pills my doctor has prescribed.”
I've heard about people having a ‘marijuana maintenance program’ in many states. Well when I moved to Minnesota, I realized through many peoples’ stories of relapses that they were turning to pills. It’s an epidemic. I have even seen people relapse from diet pills and laxatives that were ‘prescribed’. I call shenanigans!
Tenth- “Addicts are not good people.”
Anyone who is trying to get well is not a bad person. Recovery is a process with great rewards of self-awareness, healing past issues and hurts, honesty, kindness, and hopefully living life to our fullest potential. Inside of embracing acceptance, finding out what works and what does not and possibly a beautiful relationship with a Higher Power, we all do what we can to live rightly. We feel our feelings while abstaining from using alcohol or drugs. Recovery equals living courageously, if you ask me!
The crown that shines as it rests upon these myths is that a sober life is not a boring life. Nothing about living sober is boring, actually! It's a blessed life for those who are courageous enough to receive it. Through a breakdown of our old life, we have all broken through into a new one.
